Grandmas with Heart: January 2020

Friday, January 31, 2020

See Our Great God Who is Able to Do What He Has Promised

I have family members who once walked with God and now do not. I know the heartbreak which comes with this, so this quote from Crawford Loritts is encouraging to me - "Faith does not deny your children (siblings) have walked away from the faith. It looks at it. It 'considers' it. It examines it. It stares it in the eye, but it says; 'You don't stop or determine what God wants done. So I stare through you and see my great God, Who is able to do what He has promised."

Twelve years ago when I first learned I was to become a grandma, I knew there were many things I wanted to do as a grandma, but at the top of my "list" was handing down the faith - and it remains at the top of my list today. Over the years I have been blessed with three grandsons and the thing I want the most is for them to grow to love, walk and talk with God on their own. It is, "the first and most natural condition of things."

There are many ways for us as grandmas (and grandpas/parents) to become equipped and ready to hand down the faith, one of these is by using books and resources which will help us better understand what this means, takes and how to do it effectively. While you may not find many books and resources to help grandparents - and parents - hand down the faith, there are some, and some of these are excellent titles written by grandmas.

Hold Their Hearts Forever

This quote is so true - for grandpas and parents, too. We are able to hold the sweet, tiny hands of the children we love for just a few short years, which fly by ever so quickly; but we absolutely hold the hearts of our children and grandchildren forever.

Do you ever wonder how you will possibly hand down the faith to the generations who follow you? Do you wonder what you are possibly able to do which will make a difference in their lives, here in a world where so many do not believe? Do you ever feel inadequate when it comes to handing down the faith?

Make a Difference "in the Space Between What's Said & What's Heard"

From our own life experience and from the experiences of others we know, we understand there may be a "space" between what we say - or is said to us - and what is heard and this "space" is able to make all the difference in the world. If we - or others - do not see love in this "space", we will have a difficult time trusting the ones who speak. But, when we see, hear and experience love in this "space", we will be able to develop a deep trust. This goes for our grandchildren, too.

How many of us grew up hearing our parents say; "If you can't say something nice, do not say anything at all"? This is excellent advice, and sadly, something people seem to have forgotten in this age of twitter and facebook posts which often are so unkind. But, it is still excellent advice and something we should not only observe in our own lives, but be intentional about teaching our grandchildren as well.

As we think about showing love, one big way we do this is with the words we do say. Look at Colossians 4:6 - "Your speech should always be gracious and sprinkled with insight so that you may know how to respond to every person." (CEB) This verse tells us the words we say should ALWAYS be gracious and insightful. The dictionary defines, "grace" as; "A controlled, polite and pleasant way of behaving" and "gracious" as; "marked by kindness, courtesy, tact and charm". So, how do we show this with the words we say and how do we teach our grandchildren to speak with grace? Consider the following . . .

A Month of Love - Show Love by NEVER Gossiping

Yesterday I wrote about involving our grandchildren in a project to show love to families in need by raising money to buy bunnies for them. February is a great time to stop and focus on love; so I'll write about a few ways to show love to our grandchildren and help them learn to be people who do the same.

Today I want to think about showing love in a way you may not typically think of; by being a grandma (or grandpa/parent) who does not gossip. Gossip is insidious. Far too often we do it without even thinking. But gossip is evil and vile. It causes damage and hurts people, deeply. If we gossip around our grandchildren we lay the groundwork for them to mistrust us. We absolutely MUST have a zero tolerance for gossip and MUST be people who will NOT gossip; ever.

How does gossip lay the groundwork for our grandchildren to mistrust us? It does so in the following ways -

It certainly comes as no surprise, children enjoy participating in things which are fun. No surprise. So, if we are able to "inject" a touch or more of fun into our efforts to hand down the faith, we are more likely to get our grandchildren to participate and, most importantly, they are more likely to remember, understand and take to heart what we are teaching them. Fun is not a bad thing - in fact, it is a very effective tool when it comes to handing down the faith.

With this in mind, I thought I'd share with you a fun activity - another Mystery Bag activity which you may use with your grandchildren to engage them in learning about the power of their words. You will need . . .

Engage Your Grandchildren in Showing Love - Give Bunnies!

February 1st is just five days away - the first day in the month of the year when we think about "love". It is the perfect month to involve our grandchildren in a project to show their love for others . . . by raising money to give bunnies to families in need around the world!

Bunnies, you ask? Yes! Bunnies! For just $20 you are able to give a pair of bunnies to a family in need. This pair of bunnies very quickly becomes more bunnies . . . and will not only be used to provide much needed nutrition, but may be sold and traded for things families need as well.

And since a pair of bunnies is only $20 through WorldVision at this link, it makes bunnies a very affordable project . . . grandchildren are able to work to see how many pairs of bunnies they earn! And, it is so easy to make this a fun project! Consider the following . . .

Well, while we are not able to do anything about getting older, because as long as we live, we will become older, getting better is an entirely different story. Each day as we walk closer with God, we should be, "getting better" as we . . .

Our Sacred Trust

Don't you just love how Lillian Penner describes handing faith to our grandchildren . . . a sacred trust, an opportunity to imprint a child's life with God's faithfulness. We have a sacred trust from God and if we are faithful to take this to heart and do as God has asked, we are able to imprint God's faithfulness on our grandchildren's lives. Is there anything on Earth we would ever want or want to do more?

As you go through this week, take the message and encouragement of Luke 1:77,78 to heart -

Lord Jesus,

We humble ourselves, asking Your forgiveness for the demands and errors we make when parenting our adult children and their spouses. Remind us, as often as necessary, it isn’t our role to judge their hearts or minds; it isn’t our role to fix them; and it isn’t their role to make us happy.

An Essential Part of Handing Down the Faith

I love this quote from Joyce Meyer - it is a message I will absolutely faithfully communicate to my grandsons. I have been thinking about what this quote says for quite a bit lately. For some reason, God has blessed me with the exact children and grandsons I have. He has a "good plan" which will bring me hope and a future - and which will bring them the same. For reasons I do not yet know, my daughter, son (and daughter-in-law) need me for their mom (mother-in-law) and my grandsons need me as their grandma - and I need them in my life as well. God does not make mistakes. There are no accidents in His good plans for us.

Throughout my life I have experienced incredible blessings from the hand of God - I grew up living down the street from my grandpa and grandma and since my parents had a summer house (where we also spent most weekends) I was blessed to live next door to my other grandparents all summer (and most weekends). I have wonderful memories of visiting my grandparents down the street where my grandma (who was a beautician) often fixed my hair and of playing Rook with my other grandparents most summer evenings. I remember seeing all of my grandparents read their Bibles, hearing them pray and going to church with them. I was most blessed.

No Matter What

No matter the age, location, or things which are happening in the lives of our children and grandchildren, they are absolutely going to have good days and bad days - times when they win and times when they lose. These times - positive or negative are most certainly times when we grandmas (and grandpas/ parents) are able to step up and cheer for them, provide a shoulder for them to cry upon and most importantly, remind them of the truth of how God is with them and loves them no matter what.

Certainly as grandmas (or grandpas/parents) we have many reasons for us to be people who pray for the children we love. There are so many things we want to see happen with them and in their lives - things which we know we are not able to bring about, but we know God is.

But, I love how Philip Yancey writes about a wonderful reason for us to pray - "When I pray for another person, I am praying for God to open my eyes, so I may see them as God does, and then enter into the stream of love God already directs toward them." Certainly this is a reason for us to pray for others - especially the children and grandchildren God has given to us. We want . . .

Share God's Real, Everlasting Love

Today I want to share something with you which I originally wrote four years ago and posted to the Legacy Coalition Facebook page/blog, and then add a few more thoughts. I wrote . . .

While this post today is certainly for all grandparents and parents, I am particularly writing it as an encouragement for those grandparents/ parents who know the heartbreak of a child you love (whether young or grown) who either shows no interest in walking with God, or who once did and at this time is no longer doing so.

I love Jeremiah 29:11 where God promises He has good plans for us which bring us hope and a future. When the ones you love are showing faith and walking with God, it is very easy to believe this verse and have hope. But, if someone you love is not showing faith and walking with God you may feel almost desperate for hope. This is where Psalm 25:10a comes in. In this verse God promises all of His ways are loving and faithful - ALL of them.

Make a Difference Which Lasts Forever

Many of us have grandchildren who have been blessed to grow up in homes and families where they are loved, cherished and valued - and where they grow up knowing these things. But, there are some families where drugs, divorce, poverty, difficulties, illness, bullying or even violence have made their mark on the children; some of these children end up in our foster care system while others end up with their grandparents becoming custodial grandparents. The children who experience these things often grow up desperately searching for someone, anyone who will love them and help them feel like they matter and have value simply for who they are.

We do not know what life holds for the ones we love, so it is essential for us to lay and then build upon a firm foundation where we tell, teach and show the children we love some essential truths . . .

All of our grandchildren/ children will have times in their lives when they need to experience a "true, strengthening love" - times when they need "comfort", and who better to offer this "comfort" than their grandparents or parents?

Use What You Have to Hand Down the Faith

I want to tell you a very important truth - you do not have to be a wealthy grandparent (or parent) to hand down the faith. You do not have to have "disposable" income for you to be able to hand down the faith. You do not have to have money to spend on trips, conferences, books, resources or any other thing to be able to hand down the faith. Handing down the faith does not take money - it takes being willing to be a person who authentically walks and talks with God and is willing to do as God has asked; this does not require money.

Now, yes, if you have a budget to spend on resources, books, conferences, etc, those things are able to help you be more equipped, but a budget is not required. Take a look at the following things which are required for you to hand down the faith . . .

There are many things we are able to do as grandmas which make a significant difference in the lives of our children and grandchildren, but one big one is for us to "bless" them. Now, if you did not grow up receiving Scripture blessings as a child, or if you have not been taught what it is to bless or how to do it, honestly it may be a a challenge to get in the "habit". I did not grow up with this and did not even know about it until a few years ago, so I find making this a part of what I always do with my grandsons is something challenging. However; it absolutely is something I want to be part of what I do with them. I understand the whys for it and so one of the things I want to do with them this year, is make giving a Scripture blessing a part of what happens at poppa and grandma's house.

So, I am challenging you to do this as well; "bless" your grandchildren whenever they leave your home. The Bible has many blessings in it and giving a blessing to your grandchildren is a really powerful thing. You may choose your own blessing to give from a favorite Bible verse or use this one from Psalm 86 to try . . .

Do the Will of God

As grandmas (and grandpas/parents, too) who understand the most important thing in life is not to be happy, achieve pleasure or avoid pain, but instead to do God's will - no matter what, we must know what God's will for us looks like. If we do not know what God wants us to do, how will we do it? Happily God makes these things clear for us in His Word . . . consider the following . . .

My grandsons are learning to be people who pray. While I absolutely want them to pray with their poppa and I, it is essential, absolutely essential for them to learn to be people who are able to pray on their own. I want them to know how their poppa's and I have a faith which is real, it is the most important thing for them to know they are able to have a faith of their own which is real.

Faith = Taking the First Step

What are you facing right now in your life? Do you have a concern with your grandchildren and/or son/daughter/ their spouses? Are you facing health concerns? Money concerns? Any concerns? Take those concerns to Jesus - if you care about these things, so does He! Put your faith in Him, even if - and especially if you do not see how these concerns will be resolved.

Are you a grandparent and/or parent who is able to rejoice as your grandchildren and/or grown children who you love have made the choice to love, know and walk with God? If so, you have much for which to be thankful and much about which to rejoice! If this is you, do not, however; think you are able to relax. All it takes is one hurt. One difficult situation. One disappointment. One poor influence to sidetrack and derail them in their walk and leave them where they turn away from God. Continue to pray for them. Continue to pray for them. Continue to pray for them.

Are you a grandparent/parent who has a heart which breaks for a grandchild/grown child you love who has turned away from their walk with God? It is all too easy to feel despair, be discouraged, heartbroken and fear they will not turn back. For you I want to say the same thing; continue to pray for them. Continue to pray for them. Continue to pray for them.

Lord Jesus,

You abhor bullying. You detest “haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community” (Proverbs 6:16-19, NIV).

Tell the "Whys" - New Discoveries Continue to Point to God's Creative Handiwork

Have you ever heard of an Immortal Jellyfish? I have not until yesterday when I was reviewing the 2020 VBS from Answers in Genesis (for decades I have reviewed VBS from most of the publishers each January on my Children's Ministry blog, so they send me their VBS kits each year for my reviews.) Each day of VBS, Answers in Genesis uses a different animal to help teach apologetics to children - and they do an excellent job of this.

Day Four of their VBS they introduce children to the Immortal Jellyfish. In their "Islander Assembly" book, they say; "Have you ever seen a jellyfish? How about a jellyfish which is only able the size of an adult's pinky fingernail? That's the Immortal Jellyfish, an intriguing creation from God. This amazing animal is called 'immortal', because it has the incredible ability to live forever if not attacked or diseased. When it becomes an adult, it reverts back to the infant stage - over and over again. It doesn't die of old age. Of course, this is an awesome reminder of how our souls are immortal and we will live with God forever someday if we admit, believe and forever receive the Lord." They go on in their closing assembly to share how the Immortal Jellyfish shows God's amazing creativity and how this creativity has allowed this tiny jellyfish to survive and thrive in waters all over the world.

You will find out additional information about the Immortal Jellyfish at this link, but just think about the following information - and be sure to share it with your grandchildren/children . . .

Certainly as a grandma (or grandpa/parent) you want the children and/or grandchildren you love to make the choice to believe in God, trust His Word and follow Jesus. This is why we hand down the faith - or why we are trying to learn how to hand down the faith. We know as we look at our lives and the scope of things where we are able to spend our time, handing down the faith is what truly matters.

Today I am sharing another article with research by Barna on building lasting faith in Gen Z (you will find the full post at this link.) Look at some of what Jonathan Morrow has to say . . .

Who Is Most Responsible to Hand Down the Faith?

Barna Research Group did an interesting study looking at who is responsible for children's faith formation (you will find it at this link). Today I want to share a bit of it with you - and encourage you to check out the full study.

I don't know about you, but I am much more conscious of how there are more days behind me than there are before me. This saying rings true for me, and brings with it a challenge I intend to accept. My grown children and grandchildren are the living messages I send to a time I will not see. They are likely to outlive me, so the message I send with them must be the message which matters . . . God loves them, and the generations who follow.

Handing Down the Faith in a Post-Truth World

I want to take a few posts to share with you some data from the Barna Group to which we need to pay serious attention. Yes, parenting and grandparenting are a lot of fun - and should be. Building relationships with our children and grandchildren are important and highly enjoyable as well. But, we must open our eyes to this world in which we and the ones we love are living and the implications it holds for our children and grandchildren. Plus we must tell ourselves the truth about our role in handing down the faith and take this truth to heart.

This information is not meant to discourage you; quite the opposite is my intent. We need to see it, take it to heart and allow it to re-energize and motivate us to renew our focus upon being faithful to hand down the faith to our children and grandchildren. Just because the stats are heartbreaking - and they are, it does not mean we should give up. No! Not at all; as grandparents we are still the second most influential people in the lives of our grandchildren and as parents we are the most influential people in the lives of our children. We are able to make a difference - we just need to choose to not be defeated and to stop saying we don't know what to do to hand down the faith. Then buckle down, equip ourselves and be intentional when it comes to handing down the faith.

Throughout communities across the United States there are children who eat at least one meal on school days at their school. According to the USDA in 2018 six million children lived in "food insecure" households. During this same time 29.7 million children received free or reduced-cost meals through the National School Lunch Program. Unfortunately, just 3.76 million of these children participated in the Summer Food Service program in the same year (Feeding America).

Equip Our Grandchildren to Know Their Real "Super Power"

As grandparents, when we look back at raising our children, we likely have things we wish we knew to do differently. I do. The biggest is I wish I knew how to talk with God then, so I would have been able to help them learn how to talk with God. Looking back, I know now how much it matters to help the children we love learn to be people who talk with God on their own, people who watch for how God answers and people who remember what He does in their lives. These are some of the most important and essential things for the ones we love to grow to love, know and walk with God.

Now as grandma I know how to talk with God and I understand how absolutely vital it is for me to help my grandchildren learn to be people who talk with God, watch for how He answers and remember what He does. Many grandmas and grandpas I know often ask me what the are able to do to help their grandchildren know, love and walk with God. They do not want their grandchildren to turn away from a walk of their own with God, but do not know what they are able to do to hand down the faith to them.

I understand this, as it is where I was as a mom; but no more. Today I want to encourage you to do a simple thing to help equip your grandchildren ages four to fourteen learn to be people who talk with God, watch for what He does and remember. Then I want to ask for your help to let as many grandparents - and parents, too, know what to do as well.

Unless we hide the children we love away in some remote location where there is no internet and the only people they see, talk with and know are us, we may be certain at one point or another they will meet someone who tells them things which go against what we have taught them from God's Word. It is inevitable.

We may be careful to do all we are able to do to teach the children we love the truth of God's Word and how they are able to talk with, love, know and walk with Him, but at some point in time, someone will say or do something which will cause them to question the things we taught them. It is inevitable.

For example, think of Adam and Eve. They actually talked and walked with God in the garden every evening. Just imagine! They were surrounded by God's glory and lived in a world untouched by sin, yet even there, even then, Satan got to them and caused them to question what they knew to be true with the lies; "Does God really love me? Is He keeping something amazing from me?" Which led them to the questions we all face at some point; "Should I obey what God asked, or do what I want?"

Grandmas with Heart January Book of the Month - Grandparenting with a Purpose

A couple weeks ago I wrote about how it is one of the primary goals for Grandmas with Heart to provide information, ideas and resources which will equip you to hand down the faith. We do this through the daily posts on this blog - it is our prayer the posts will provide solid material which will help you hand down the faith and encourage you as you do so.

We also do it by recommending books and resources which you are able to add to your own "tool box" and which will equip you to hand down the faith. To this end, each month we will recommend our "Book of the Month" to help you. While it may be difficult to go out and buy every book/resource we have recommended, if you commit in 2020 to just buy one book/resource a month, you will find at the end of the year you are well equipped to hand down the faith.

So, for the month of January, our Book of the Month is Grandparenting with a Purpose by Lillian Penner. Today I want to share with you some of the things Cavin Harper, from the Christian Grandparenting Network, had to say about Lillian's book . . .

As I look forward to 2020 there are many things I would love to see happen. I would love to see family members who are not walking with God, return to Him. I would love to see my grandsons grow closer to God by choosing to be people who pray. I would love to see some specific prayer requests answered. I would love to see Grandmas with Heart continue to be a helpful resource for grandmas, grandpas and parents. I would love to see my church develop a solid ministry which equips grandparents and parents to hand down the faith. Oh yes, as I look forward to 2020 there are many things I would love to see happen.

When it comes to being grandma - or grandpa - there are so many wonderful things we get to do; things which bring us joy . . . and sometimes hugs, kisses, snuggles, "I love yous" and memories we treasure, too! But, there are also things we must be careful not to do, so today I'm sharing with you my Top Five "Do-Not's" for Grandparents.

Make Them Your High Priority

Of all the people who have ever lived on this Earth, God has chosen to give the grandchildren (and grown children) you have to you - and you to them. He did not make a mistake in putting you together - He has plans . . . plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

One of the blessings of being a grandma (or grandpa) who is active and engaged with your grandchildren, is by being this grandparent you will have opportunities for conversations which you will always remember. I remember conversations with my grandsons about things ranging from why it is better to be a boy - because girls can not climb trees - to how they believed in Jesus ever since they first heard of Him.

At any rate, as I think about the conversations I've been blessed to have with my grandsons over the years, I'm also thinking about the five most important things I want them to know. They are . . .

Choices Which Matter Now & For the Generations Who Follow

I am particularly focused upon time as 2020 begins as I have been thinking a lot about the time I have left on this Earth - clearly there are fewer days before me than there are behind me. It matters to me to use this time as wisely as possible. It matters to me for the days I have to be spent in ways which honor God, doing what He wants me to do. It matters to me for the days I have to be spent in ways which continue to build a strong, healthy relationship between my husband and I. It matters to me for the days I have to spent in ways which communicate to my children and my children's children the truth about how God is real, we are able to trust the Bible with confidence and we are able to know and walk with Him. I may have days left, I may have years left, who knows . . . I may have decades left, but whatever the time may be, I want to spend it wisely doing what truly matters the most.

I am a grandma; I know, this is a pretty obvious statement, but it is true! As a grandma there are things I do, because I am a grandma; things I may not otherwise do. But, since I am a grandma, these things are things I do!

It would take all day to list the "grandma things" I do, but of this long list, there are a few which are essential. Things which are the most important things for me to do and today I'm sharing with you my Five Most Important Things on My Grandma's To-Do List. They are . . .

Lord Jesus,

You are “our refuge and our fortress, our God, in whom we trust. You deliver us from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence” (Psalm 91:2-3, paraphrased).

Today, we pray for our grandchildren’s physical health and wellbeing. Please safeguard them against the multitude of illnesses, which are prevalent during the winter months. Give them strong immune systems capable of combating even the most aggressive germs.

Top Five Prayer Requests for My Grandchildren

I pray for my grandsons. When I look at this world around me and how God's Word is mocked and disregarded, I am concerned about what it will be like for them to grow up. I most sincerely want my grandsons to grow to be boys and then men who know, love and walk with Jesus, so I pray. I pray for them, because while I am limited in what I am able to actually do, God is not. He is bigger than I think He is and He is able to do ever so much more than I will ever even begin to imagine!

So, about what do I pray? Certainly the list has a number of things on it and changes depending on the situations they are facing, but the main prayer requests I have for them are as follows . . .

I love this quote from Tony Evans - prayer is our connection between God and us; through prayer we are never alone at any point in time and any place we will ever be. While there may be times when we feel alone, concerned, or even overwhelmed, the truth is we are never alone and talking with God is the very best way to deal with concern and feelings of being overwhelmed. We need to hold strongly to the truth of how prayer connects us with God and live lives which show we believe it with our all.

We also need to be intentional when it comes to passing on this essential message to the ones we love. Just as we need to hold tightly to God in prayer, so do our children and grandchildren. We must model what it looks like to be people who pray and we must equip them to be people who pray. To help you with this I am going to share three sources for resources designed to help you pray and equip those you love to do the same.

My Top Five Ways to Show Love to Grandchildren!

Grandmas - or grandpas/parents - and "love" go hand-in-hand and showing this love to our sweet grandchildren just comes naturally, but today I thought I'd take a minute or two and write about my Top Five Ways to Show Love to My Grandchildren!

Last Winter, where I live, we experienced what they dubbed, "a polar vortex". Fancy, ominous term for a very, very, very cold turn in the weather. Trust me, it was absolutely cold!

One day as I was watching the local weather show, they showed what happened in this frigid weather out in the local apple orchards - Ice Apples! The ice covered the apples which were still hanging on the trees - then the remains of the apples dropped out the bottom leaving an incredible ice apple. Unexpected, amazing, beautiful and surprising!

My Top Five Reasons I Listen to My Grandchildren

I remember a time when my grandchildren were at my house watching a children's show; the topic of not being listened to came up (it was the "title" of the episode.) I asked them if they felt like this sometimes and they said; "Yes. Well, except for you, grandma, because you always listen to us."

As adults it is far too easy to be busy with the things we are doing or with our tech and just not listen to children. Children do tend to talk a lot and it is not always "earth-shattering" things they have to say; but when it comes to my grandchildren, I feel like if it is important to them and they want to tell me, I want to hear it! I'm so glad they have noticed this!

So, as I thought about this conversation, I came up with five reasons I listen to my grandchildren and today I'm sharing them with you. They are . . .

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